Finding Home With Krista Boss and Guest Co-Host Jude Hung

[00:00:02] Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Thriving Adoptees podcast. Today I'm delighted to be joined by Jude, Jude Hung and Krista Boss looking forward to our conversation today. Thank you Simon. Hello everybody. As you guys may know, we're doing a special series on Thriving Adoptees around finding home.

[00:00:24] And today we are really honored to have Krista Boss who is a friend of mine. We met in 2020 doing kind of a social financial experiment called, it's called a gifting community. It's an alternative way to do finances and to doing money.

[00:00:47] And we're based on reciprocity, equality, equity, integrity and personal responsibility and a lot of trust.

[00:00:56] And we didn't know it at the time but we had a shared friend and that's who we met through who actually also happens to be an adoptee I was thinking about it this morning. And Krista and I just immediately clicked and connected, I think on spiritual level.

[00:01:15] And then also, you know, we found out we were both adopted and I think that there is a resonance that we adopt these share because of our shared life experience around relinquishment and mother separation. And then how that continues to show up in our lives.

[00:01:36] And so when I was thinking about who to interview for this series Krista pretty immediately came to mind because she has a theme of home that runs through her life that's really beautiful and how it's evolved over time and how it's showing up now.

[00:01:53] And so I just thank you for being here. And my first question for you Krista is, what does home mean to you? Thank you so much for having me I'm so happy to be here this morning.

[00:02:08] So home to me really means the place within myself where I can go anytime and just kind of re regroup, I think. So, yeah, I've developed that I would say over the course of my life because home was never really a physical place for me.

[00:02:31] I never make when people talk about where they come from. I can tell you where I grew up I grew up in several different cities around in Arizona, but none of those really feel like home so home is definitely a place within for me.

[00:02:47] And I was going to ask was there a time when it shifted for you like when you were a child did it feel like oh this is home, and then it shifted to this more inner realm like was there kind of a moment that you recognize that home for you is different than home for others.

[00:03:04] You know what it's interesting but actually first far back as I can remember home has always been a place within. So in my very, very early childhood like first five years of my life, much of that time, myself and my family were unhoused or homeless.

[00:03:23] So this idea of home being somewhere of a place within really started quite early. So, home has played this major theme in your life and it's showing up in your work.

[00:03:38] Right like you have like kind of these three, you're so well played dimensionally of these three streams that have worked that you're pouring your heart and your energy into how much, you know, or how do you think that being adopted.

[00:03:57] You know, and having that those early childhood experiences play a role in these choices these these three things and you can share about each one and how you feel like adoption maybe has kind of played that influence in those choices and in the direction that you're taking.

[00:04:18] Wow what an interesting question.

[00:04:21] You know I love this question because I feel so incredibly seen and it's something that I didn't even really realize about myself that that yeah home is a really big part of everything that I'm doing right now even though sometimes the things seem very different so

[00:04:38] by day I am a real estate agent. So I help guide people to find their physical homes and I enjoyed doing that very much.

[00:04:47] I actually have been helping my closest friends find their home and they're there just so excited to move in and it's been such a special process. Just helping them along with that so yes so real estate is number one.

[00:05:03] I also manifested my home in 2022 after going through my divorce and really just feeling destabilized.

[00:05:13] I manifested this home that I've really turned into quite the little sanctuary like a sanctuary of healing and with the intention really of sharing this space with others, which I have had the opportunity to do now several times. And that that just feels really, really amazing.

[00:05:33] I get told all the time wow this is such a unique space I can really feel the love in this space and that just makes my heart feel so full. There's a lot of plants in my home.

[00:05:49] There's a lot of I guess you could say like water features so I have like a spa and a pool I'm really big on the healing properties of water and using that to kind of lead ourselves back to ourselves.

[00:06:02] Yeah, and then the third one being the nonprofit with liberation earth and that other adoptee that you mentioned.

[00:06:10] So just working to create living wellness communities and homes for people that are more affordable. It's probably one of the biggest issues in housing or home related issues right now is affordability of homes.

[00:06:25] So, yes, I'm very thankful to be able to be working on that goal as well.

[00:06:33] Thank you. So a couple of questions come to mind for me around each of these businesses that you're doing. I'm going to start with the real estate one since that's what you started with. And I know that you use the word sanctuary.

[00:06:50] Right, your so for you a home is so much more than a building.

[00:06:55] And, you know, is that because you nurtured home within yourself and cultivated that within yourself for so long that you understand the importance of having a place where you're safe to be your most true and authentic self.

[00:07:13] And, you know, and so you're you're wanting to really invite and connect people like to a deeper level like I think you understand the significance of home so maybe, you know, the sanctuary word because I know you you're using it for your business and so what is that connection for you,

[00:07:34] you know with inviting people to find a home.

[00:07:37] So I feel like I've been inviting people into my home or my sanctuary since I was quite young because I really enjoy having very deep conversations with people and just really holding space for them so that's that's always been a big driver for me.

[00:07:53] And then I think what I've realized is that you can get to a certain place in that cultivation of that home within to where in order to get to the next level.

[00:08:07] You it almost requires like a physical space that you can share with others. So I felt that this sanctuary, which to me just means somewhere you can go

[00:08:21] to find I think refuge in just the craziness of the world to find that calm and get back to that loving place within. To me, that's what a sanctuary is and so

[00:08:35] Yeah, I enjoy sharing this space with others and giving them that physical space as well as holding the emotional space for all of their feelings and everything so that maybe they can, you know, find a way to cultivate that space within.

[00:08:53] So, he thinks one you mentioned the next level so I'm gonna ask about that next. But in your your home sanctuary that that you've created Casa Hoso am I saying it right Casa Hoso.

[00:09:11] Yeah, hey, you mentioned the water features and the healing properties of water. And I hadn't considered this before we've talked about it many times, but what came to mind right now is, well, right, like, and it's, it's, you know, I wonder if you are because we often are called to meet

[00:09:40] and that we that wasn't met in us right is kind of what we end up bringing to the world and so, you know, like, was that intentional, or was it kind of like unconscious that that you're creating this like room healing space.

[00:10:01] Wow, you have such incredible observations I just want to start with that. I love this so much. Um, yeah, so I, I don't think I had realized that until this conversation right here right now.

[00:10:15] Um, but water has been a big part of my healing for a long time so when I was a teenager and life felt very tumultuous. And my physical home was I would say not even a safe place most of the time.

[00:10:33] And something that I really took refuge in was the pool. So being an Arizona girl, as I am. There's, there's no shortage of pools here, mostly outdoor pools. So you can enjoy being in the water and the sunshine which I find is also very healing.

[00:10:51] I joined swim teams when I was quite young, I started swimming competitively in like seventh eighth grade. And I really just kept that going. When I got to college, I was a full time student and I was taking very difficult classes so I was more focused on academics so I stopped swimming

[00:11:10] but I started teaching other people how to swim at that time. That's also when I got trained in hydro therapy. I was an aqua aerobics instructor for a little while.

[00:11:23] So water has always been very near and dear to my heart. And it's always been something that I've, that I really like to share with other people. And honestly I think that you, I think that you're right on.

[00:11:38] I think that, you know, because I didn't have that need met, maybe even as early on as in the womb, that I have found ways to recreate that and give that to myself, which I think is a really important part of healing when we can recognize what our needs are

[00:11:58] and take action to meet those needs for ourselves, to love ourselves enough to know that we deserve that. And even if it wasn't given to us, that we have the power to give it to ourselves.

[00:12:12] That's that right on and so beautiful and the water element, right? Like it's creative, it's flow, it's emotions, it's cleansing. And the womb really, it's a portal, right? Like it's a place of creativity, like creation and metamorphosis.

[00:12:30] And then we leave it as this being. And so I love your work with that. And, you know, one thing you keep mentioning is that you have made these choices really intentionally. And so you've done a work within.

[00:12:46] And then there's this, this innate recognition, recognition that you needed to create it now. It's like, okay, I did this work within. And now the next step is, I've got to like make it real in the world.

[00:13:01] Right? Like, so I created a sanctuary for myself and then I got a house.

[00:13:05] You know, I wrote in my notes like she manifests like a boss cook and that's a because her last name is boss, but she really does. And so, you know, maybe share with anybody who might be listening who yes, Simon, who does work within and is like, okay, but they're getting stuck on manifesting in their life.

[00:13:27] You know, that intention and what you put into that and Simon, what's your question?

[00:13:30] Yeah, I was going to say, there seems to be a mix of kind of intuition and considered action here. But it's a mixture of both right? Am I along the right lines? Yeah. And so I was just wondering what how you saw that? How you saw the mix between the two?

[00:13:53] What or, you know, what's been more following your inner wisdom and just intuitively doing stuff than what's been more intentional, more kind of conscious and thought out.

[00:14:11] Wow, that's a tough one. So I think a lot of the times when we think about manifestation, we think about somebody sitting in meditation with their eyes closed and just kind of going into this like dream like world, right?

[00:14:29] And then I think if I understand your question correctly, it's like how do you get from that to actually living in that world like making the dream a reality?

[00:14:38] And I would say that I think one of the really instrumental pieces that maybe doesn't get quite enough attention yet in a lot of these conversations is like open-eyed meditation.

[00:14:52] It's something that Dr. Joe Dispenza talks a lot about. So when we have these ideas, you know, in our calmest, hmm, like when we're sitting in meditation eyes closed very calm and you have these ideas.

[00:15:10] It's the next practice I would say is to try to hold on to those throughout your day after the, you know, quote unquote meditation is over and you're going about your day.

[00:15:23] But to really still be meditating. And by that I just mean holding those ideas in your mind because I think that the more that you focus on those ideas, the more you will see the opportunities that you have in your everyday life

[00:15:38] to make those dreams a reality. So I think of focus on opportunity as well. I am one of those people that sees opportunity even where a lot of other people may not.

[00:15:51] And then I think just taking advantages of the opportunities that you're given and not being afraid to, you know, maybe make a mistake so to speak or to do something and then take a step back and think, okay, maybe that's not the best way for me to accomplish this.

[00:16:14] So I do have a lot of faith and spirit to provide. I think that the universe kind of has my back. And I think that I balance that out. I think balance is really important. So I balance that faith and that trust with action.

[00:16:31] I think that if you have both the faith and the action, then things will they'll just magically happen for you. Really.

[00:16:41] Very, very well said and and you know I'm a fan of Joe dispensers as well and so I'm going to add in something that he talks about is that that brain and heart coherence right so so you're really aligning with what is true within yourself so that you're in that integrity and then through your meditative practice, you're very intentionally focusing in.

[00:17:09] And holding that focus and through the brain and heart coherence, you're elevating your own inner like frequency and that focus helps you to build capacity to hold and sustain that right and then because of your focus right where our energy where our focus goes our energy flows you're seeing these opportunities you're walking in this awareness of what you're

[00:17:35] intending what you're calling to yourself what's aligning for you in this life and then you're seeing it and then you're you're following it up with action. Right because it's not going to happen without the action step.

[00:17:49] Right and that does take faith it takes that inner trust with yourself. And, you know, and I think, I'll just say for myself as an adoptee. It's like, I often will get to the door. Right, and then pull back it's like I almost afford mission you know and.

[00:18:07] And so I think building the trust with self like you have a beautiful trust with in relationship within yourself, so that you can just take those steps and look at all this that you're creating.

[00:18:21] The third, the third place that you're casting your faith and intentionality into is this sustainable housing. Right, if you want to share more about that and why it speaks to you and and what you're really hoping to do why is that important to you.

[00:18:42] Yeah, so I guess this goes back to the our theme of home.

[00:18:48] Because on the largest scale, I shouldn't say largest on a large scale the home for all of us is this earth right and I think that in a lot of ways, things are out of balance with that home.

[00:19:06] The way that we are using our natural resources is one of the things that I feel is out of balance. Distribution of resources, I think is another thing that feels very out of balance at the moment.

[00:19:20] So the goal with liberation earth is to bring some of that balance back and doing that using modern technology.

[00:19:31] So 3D printing homes so that we are using less of the earth's resources to create more housing in a way that is also very affordable to meet the needs of people in the current economy.

[00:19:45] And then another layer I think that I've more recently brought into this thing which I am trying to manifest with others as a part of liberation earth is the idea of living wellness community.

[00:20:00] So when we are in balance with the home within and the home that is our earth.

[00:20:07] I think that we are much better positioned to create communities of wellness where people are happy and healthy, which I think is the goal for most of us right like we want to be happy healthy people.

[00:20:26] So by providing these homes, we are able to get back to that and create communities that are able to focus on those very important things.

[00:20:39] Beautiful stuff and I think we are going to post links so that people want to check your different works out that they can and find out more about it.

[00:20:51] I want to bring us back to you and your personal journey as an adoptee and you know finding because because I know you I know that you're in a place of peace within and contentment, and you have resolved that story that narrative the trauma.

[00:21:16] And, and I know that you did live in a lot of chaos and had experienced a lot of pain and so do you mind sharing with us just that journey for yourself like how you have, you know, just any important moments or just sharing what you, you know has helped you along the way with our listeners.

[00:21:43] Hmm. Okay, so I think in order to do that I might have to give a little bit more background only because I think folks listening to this up until this point are probably going to be quite shocked about what I say next, because they're going to be like, how does that person come from that beginning.

[00:22:02] So the first five years of my life were very tumultuous. In short, I was, I was beaten burned starved and left for dead quite literally before I even turned five, at which point I was taken from my biological mother by child protective services and started living with my grandparents.

[00:22:23] I had a younger brother at that time who needed a lot more attention than they were able to provide. So he ended up getting adopted, actually. And then a few years later we were reunited.

[00:22:38] And, and in that process, I actually ended up getting adopted by that same person so we were reunited living together once again, which was really beautiful. I was very much.

[00:22:53] I had been taking care of him since he was born. So we had a very strong bond, a very strong connection. And I was very codependent in terms of feeling like his caretaker and just kind of wanting to be there for him always.

[00:23:13] So I, I loved being reunited with him. Sadly, our adoptive mother became very sick a few years later. She had chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, which we still don't know a lot about the causes but they're essentially autoimmune diseases and what we think is it's basically the body attacking itself because there are very many underlying needs that have not been met.

[00:23:41] And this was back in the day when those symptoms were just treated with like pain killers, like very, very strong pain medication.

[00:23:52] And I, the, a lot of the treatments that we have now that are far more holistic just weren't very well known at that time. And so she became incredibly dependent upon those prescriptions and really became quite a different person.

[00:24:12] So I was kind of lodged back into cycles of abuse that I had experienced in the first five years of my life. And by the age of like 14, 15, you know, I was basically running the household.

[00:24:26] And while I was doing very well in school and I was kind of this like picture perfect student, my home within was starting to really disintegrate. So I no longer felt like I had that safe place to go back and to recollect.

[00:24:44] And the external environment was just so it felt so chaotic that I, I kind of lost hope as to if I would ever be able to get back to that place.

[00:24:56] And so at that point I thought man if this is what life is all about I'm done. I don't want to be here anymore like this is crazy.

[00:25:06] So I decided I was very intentional with my decision to get to a physically safe place so that I could kind of re cultivate that that place within and then from that more healed, more stable, more loving place.

[00:25:27] Go back to, you know, kind of doing good in the world doing right by my brother, by myself. So I actually got emancipated when I was 16 I became a adult legally in the eyes of the law is completely on my own which was fitting because I honestly kind of felt like I was raising myself all along so

[00:25:48] so I became an adult and finished out high school I had already been accepted to college so just kind of went along my merry way with with everything that I had already planned out which was at the time I wanted to be a doctor.

[00:26:04] So I was going to go to school and then go to medical school. And when I got to college I lived alone, I didn't go to the dorms because that just felt a bit too chaotic and I really needed my private kind of personal space still at that time.

[00:26:22] So I spent a lot of time just working on myself, getting in touch with spirituality, getting in touch with more holistic medicine things like that. And then once I felt like I had kind of regrouped and I had that home within to go back to you.

[00:26:41] I went back and kind of retrieved my brother if you will. And now him and I are quite close once again.

[00:26:51] I care for him in a lot of ways. I should say we care for each other but yeah, I'm very thankful to be in a position where I am able to kind of help him meet his needs the same needs that, you know, we're not met for either of us.

[00:27:11] When we were quite young and throughout our childhood. So that's kind of my story in a nutshell. Will you remind me your question?

[00:27:25] Like, oh do I remember. I think it was more of like, and maybe it's just answered in the story itself but you know it is that like what is our process right of creating and cultivating and finding home and getting to a place of peace with all of that that's happened right like

[00:27:49] and it's obvious that you had an awareness of what you needed inside yourself, barely young, maybe because of those circumstances that you really just had your own self.

[00:28:02] Very often. And so, you know, but yeah so it was that what you know what advice or insight can you share from your experience to offer what wisdom have you gained around doing that for yourself to get to this place of peace and recognizing all that happened.

[00:28:25] Right. And it to be like I'm okay on a piece and I'm enjoying my life. How'd you do that? Like what's the wisdom.

[00:28:32] So I would say part of it is to not be afraid to meet your own needs. I think that there's a lot of things that we are told have to come from other people.

[00:28:44] But if that doesn't happen for you, I think realizing the power that you have to meet your own needs and not being afraid to seem selfish to people that maybe don't understand your journey by putting yourself in your needs first.

[00:29:02] I think is a really, really big part of it. The other part I would say is, I guess that comes from self love right because you have to care enough for yourself and love yourself enough and believe that you deserve it enough to give it to yourself.

[00:29:21] And so I think that self love is very important. And then I think that we hear that a lot and so one thing that I think maybe adoptees don't hear as often is that sometimes that self love that love is buried beneath layers of grief.

[00:29:38] And you may almost feel like you're drowning in that sea of grief.

[00:29:45] And I guess what I would want to share is that that grief can actually point yourself to that self love that you have because something I've heard a lot, I think I see it on social media and such as like beneath your grief is love.

[00:30:01] And usually when I see that it's geared toward people who are grieving the loss of a loved one. And it's like beneath all of those layers of grief is the love you had for that person.

[00:30:11] And that's also true for ourselves. So when we are dealing with great heavy amounts of grief, it's because deep down we know that we deserved better.

[00:30:25] And I think that if you recognize that you deserved better, then you can realize that there is some self love already there within.

[00:30:37] I think another thing that could help adoptees is understanding that for us because of our trauma, it's often easier for us to love others than it is for us to love ourselves.

[00:30:54] And you hear a lot, you have to love yourself before you love others but I don't like that. I highly disagree with that. And that's because I view love as like a muscle, and the more you work that muscle, the larger and stronger it becomes.

[00:31:10] And so if you are able to love other people then you are absolutely able to love yourself as well. Absolutely. One of my favorite self quotes, I'll quote myself is that the human heart is infinitely expansive and so is our love.

[00:31:30] And I think it is the greatest untapped resource of humanity. I do. Yeah, so I really appreciate you calling attention to the love that we have for ourselves underneath all this, the grief that we feel.

[00:31:47] I think that's really spot on and then that will bring me, yes, Simon. Yeah, so I hear people talking about love as a noun, right? We are love rather than love as a verb. Right, self-love sounds like love as a verb. We are love.

[00:32:11] And I also hear things like well, love is our shared oneness, right? So I don't have the words to kind of, I can kind of see it but I can't put the words to it myself. So I'm wondering if if Krista might be able to do that.

[00:32:42] Yeah, so this is one place where I do feel like the English language maybe lets us down a bit because we have this one word to mean so many different things, right?

[00:32:54] Like I love the color green. I love plants like I love myself. I love my dog and it's like whoa, what? The self-love. It's like what does this mean?

[00:33:04] And I think that you're spot on that one definition of love is that oneness that we all share, like the vibration of that oneness.

[00:33:15] I would say you could call love. Another way that I like to look at love is or like a synonym that you could use to maybe help yourself understand better is support. So if we are loving ourselves, we are finding ways to support ourselves.

[00:33:35] So I think support is a really good, another good word to kind of allow us to tease apart what it means to truly love ourselves.

[00:33:47] Yeah, and I'll add in the word appreciation. The things that we appreciate, right? We're focusing, we're giving energy to other things that we love in action. So yeah, I love that.

[00:34:00] I was quoting Jude the other day actually because Jude is a big fan of the word and, right? So and she really accentuates it. Whereas I was talking to somebody at the swimming pool.

[00:34:16] I'm the swimmer too. And it was, he was saying something and I said, there's a book coming. And he changed it to however, right? Because he's a clever guy rather than just saying but.

[00:34:33] And I said a friend of mine says really emphasizes that and right. So what I'm thinking about now is love is what we are and as Jude would do to exaggerate it.

[00:34:48] Love is what we do to and perhaps we should look at both of those and weigh them up because I think, like, I'm thinking about 80, 20.

[00:35:04] I think you're in 80, 20, all that peratosis analysis, right? And I'm thinking love is what we are is probably getting 20% or less of the attention. And love is what we do is getting 80% or more of the attention. Maybe we should be switching that ratio round.

[00:35:24] Well, I'll just say this if somebody is saying love is what we are love is who I am. And then it's not what they do. There's they're not in alignment or residence. Oh, brilliant. Very good.

[00:35:47] All day because I happen to know Chris, I'm going to go a different direction. But you know, because we've we've talked about loving self and the grief pointing to that and I, you know, and if you don't want to go here, say to say so.

[00:36:04] But I know that your bio past this year, and that it was a choice point for you. And I think I guess I want to share in and offer this story to adoptees because we have so many choices around parent things, whether it's adoptive parents,

[00:36:23] biological parents and family reunion, yes or no. And when it comes time for passing or transition from this life, there's we're faced with a whole other set of questions and choices right.

[00:36:38] And so, for me as an adoptee, what has been significant. And I think for each of us is is loving ourselves to put ourselves first and asking ourselves at these choice points what we need what we want.

[00:36:53] And then being okay with that. And so do you mind sharing how that kind of unfolded and, you know, your choice and story around that. How you resolved it for yourself.

[00:37:08] I would love to actually. Yeah, and thank you so much for asking. I appreciate that as well but yes, I feel very comfortable to share. So going back to something I said earlier, which is about not being worried about

[00:37:22] being seen as selfish by others who maybe don't understand your journey and doing what is needed for you. I will say that when I got news that my biological mom was passing due to brain cancer and she had a very short life expectancy at that time.

[00:37:44] I was given the opportunity to reunite, which reunion I do think is something that a lot of adoptees face at one point or another. And there's definitely a large cultural push to always reunite.

[00:38:03] And any other choice is often seen as selfish or unhealed. And I will tell you that when given that opportunity to go and visit her, you know, on her deathbed, when I had not seen her since I was seven years old.

[00:38:19] I did not physically go and see her. And for a lot of people, they thought, oh well, you know, clearly Christa is not that healed because she's not going to go physically meet her mom on her deathbed.

[00:38:35] And it's okay for them to have that thought because they don't understand my journey and what was important was doing what I needed to do to feel supported.

[00:38:49] And I will add that I was also thinking about my family quite a bit at this time. So I'll try to remember to circle back to that but I did want to reunite with her, but I wanted to do it in a spiritual sense, because I felt that there was so much baggage that we carried in this lifetime

[00:39:12] that a physical reunion was not really going to do either one of us very much good. So I did choose to have a spiritual ceremony where I met her beyond the veil, you could say.

[00:39:29] And that was a very, it felt very sacred. It felt very full of love. And I received many messages during several meditations that evening that that was the right thing to do.

[00:39:45] I actually have a peace lily in my backyard which if you know anything about this plant it's a symbol of death but also like love in death and moving on and kind of crossing over so to speak.

[00:40:01] And at the beginning of the night, there was no signs that that peace lily was going to bloom anytime soon. And at the end of the evening after my ceremony.

[00:40:13] It had this huge beautiful bloom. It's a beautiful white flower that blooms from this plant. And I really just felt like it was my mother's spirit, just her spirit right which doesn't carry all of the baggage of this lifetime.

[00:40:34] But this, this kind of eternal spirit I can't think of another word for this this eternal existence. Just kind of saying you know, thank you and goodbye.

[00:40:51] So that was a really it was a beautiful experience. I felt like we were really able to reunite, but it was in a way that felt very supportive or loving of both of us.

[00:41:05] Myself and also for her to, to not have to, you know, have additional things to work through it at that time where it was so close for her time to go right I think it, it would have been too much with with not enough time to really get through it and so for both of us it felt like the most supportive thing.

[00:41:29] But it also, as I mentioned felt like the most supportive thing to do and the most loving thing to do for my family. Because although my experience of her as her daughter was one way their experience of her as their daughter right of their sister was very different.

[00:41:53] And I think that it would have been very difficult for them to fully grieve her passing. Had I been physically present.

[00:42:04] Because it might mean imagine yourself trying to fully grieve somebody standing next to the person that you know whose life was was just completely altered by all of their decisions it.

[00:42:24] It would have been very difficult right because they would have been thinking of me and they would have felt bad if they cried because how could you cry for this person that was such a monster to this other person that you love.

[00:42:37] And it would have really complicated things and I wanted them to be able to fully be in their grief and and fully give her the the energy that that that deserved so that they could also fully heal.

[00:42:55] And I just felt that that was going to be much easier on them if I was not physically present. And then of course after she passed, I made it a point to, you know, not only emotionally but physically be there for them and and be supportive of their, their healing process.

[00:43:17] Thank you. It's beautiful because you really stood in a place of love for actually for each person right for yourself, supporting for your mother as she's transitioning and understanding that in those that liminal space you guys could meet.

[00:43:36] Whole right as your, your spirit soul the whole self and release the baggage from this lifetime. Right so that her transition is easier but it was I'm going to ask if it was also a healing moment for you.

[00:43:52] And then standing in the place of love for your family, allowing their then to have that moment right and then supporting them afterwards. So was that a moment like of reconciling resolving did it, did it feel like a closure completion for you.

[00:44:14] Yes, it was incredibly healing honestly and it did feel like closure and I would say if anybody else is struggling with something similar, I would be so happy to so privileged to be able to facilitate something like this for others.

[00:44:32] Because I felt like it was incredibly healing and so incredibly necessary.

[00:44:39] And I'm so thankful for the conversations I know I spoke with you about this before I actually did the ceremony, because at one point there the voices of other people were loud enough to actually make me question myself just for a minute.

[00:44:53] And I called you and after our conversation, I just felt so reaffirmed to do what felt most loving and supportive to myself and and to my family. So yes, so much closer closure so much healing.

[00:45:11] I am a fan of Oracle cards. So I did that was part of my ceremony and one of the cards that I pulled I only pulled three cards and one of them was the mother, which was so interesting.

[00:45:26] And one of the messages that I received was of gratitude for the way that I had been able to mother myself in her absence to be able to be in a place where we could have that reunion, because it did it felt so special and so necessary and you know what they say that at birth and

[00:45:52] that death that the veil becomes very thin between this world and whatever lies beyond. And I can attest to that because I really did feel as though we had met once more before she left.

[00:46:09] In that space, were you able to connect with and receive the love that she holds for you. Absolutely. Absolutely. I felt very held during that ceremony, not only by her and her presence with with the peace Lily blooming at the end of that ceremony.

[00:46:32] But I would also say by the rest of my spiritual team so to speak. I think that especially for adoptees it's important to recognize how much support we have beyond the veil, because it's, I think very normal for us to feel a lack of support here in this physical realm.

[00:46:55] But I do believe that we that there are angels you know guardian angels and guides and ancestors who who do look over us, and who do nurture us and who do hold us. So I would say I felt very held during that ceremony absolutely.

[00:47:14] And a good reminder what's interesting is just this morning, as I was meditating, I was reminded and I never connected this before I was that that as adoptees we have like double ancestry because we have the ancestry of our adopted family and our biological one and so we have like a huge like support team.

[00:47:40] As you call it. And then what comes to mind as I'm listening and sharing and I know we'll be wrapping up is this thought is that as you know the world is transitioning and and awakening and shifting consciousness, and we're really welcoming in the divide feminine right like and bringing that into

[00:48:10] balance with with the feminine and masculine energy. And I'm listening to your story I know my story I know Simon story and I just know that as adoptees are healing, we are healing the mother wound and that it is very significant in this time period that we're doing that.

[00:48:31] You know, so thank you for sharing your story. And we will put all your information in this in the podcast notes so that people can connect with you. Simon anything else any other questions or

[00:48:45] Yeah, and I think you put on Facebook the other day as a reconciliation as an alternative to healing. Yes, it didn't it didn't land for me but I could. I suspected there was something that but it didn't land for me right. Yeah.

[00:49:05] But something that Chris to said got got me there right in terms of understanding it for it to land and in terms of like reconciliation from like, if we think about two, you know, two countries that are at war, right, and they are two people that are war.

[00:49:24] There's a reconciliation. That's the process and then pieces the pieces the destination. So we could look at healing is the process and whole is the destination.

[00:49:42] If we wanted to look at it like that, or we could look at where we're already hold but anyway, that's another kettle of bananas, but reconciliation as a transition piece and and and and peace as as as the as the place.

[00:50:01] And so beautifully obviously made into not an idiom or a metaphor, as we normally do on this show, but actually as represented by the peace Lily.

[00:50:17] So it's a it's a real, it's a real life metaphor rather than it's a concrete metaphor rather than just an abstract metaphor made out of woods. So that's beautiful for me.

[00:50:31] It is it really is right like how and I love how life orchestrates and brings us all these special little things to show us that we really truly are loved and supported.

[00:50:46] So thank you for sharing your journey of finding home within and then how you're sharing that with others and helping them along the way. Appreciate it.

[00:50:54] Thank you so much for the opportunity to be here and to share today. I would say this experience in and of itself felt incredibly healing. So thank you for that. And thank you as well Simon for the space. Thank you Krista. Thank you Jude.

[00:51:10] If you got anything else to say, Jude or should we bring it in. Okay. Thank you listeners. Will speak to you very soon. Thanks a lot.