Out Of The Abyss With Lisa Ann

[00:00:00] Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Thrymia.t is PODGEST today. I'm delighted

[00:00:06] to be joined by Lisa Lisa and looking forward to our conversation Lisa.

[00:00:11] Well, thank you. I'm glad to be back here with you again, Simon, and looking forward

[00:00:17] to this conversation as well.

[00:00:19] So Lisa and has been on before. I've been onies podcast. For the first seeable future, we will be talking healing. And that's on the back of a thing, something that I noticed last year, which was we're all great at describing trauma, but we're not as great as describing healing. And

[00:02:45] do that. So episode wise, I think I really do really lost track, but we are launching our fourth season. It

[00:02:49] dropped today, episode one of season four with one of your

[00:02:53] former guests, Julie, Julie Ryan Magu, as you know, just as

[00:02:58] launching out a new book and it's a fantastic episode. So

[00:03:02] thank you for letting me plug that for two seconds. It also

[00:03:05] wraps around healing and it's key.

[00:04:07] basically putting a whole heart and soul into not only writing the books but getting the word out of the books is great so look she's great on that look at that and she's obviously a great

[00:04:14] a great guest too and like there's of who I'm able to move forward in life and not sit in an abyss. And it has a means by my definition of healing. I want to have joy. I don't want to sit in an abyss and I want to see the world in war of a positive light, not just in the trauma light.

[00:09:43] Yeah. So, you know, you've talked of being adopted, I was adopted coming up 57 years ago, right? So we're recording this on Thursday 11th of January.

[00:10:50] of my birth. I do mean the ceremony of the official adoption day. I also include every period. I'm still in post reunion, but it looks different in 2024 than it looked in 2023, 2022, 2021, and 2020.

[00:12:21] It looks very different now. and a lot of looking and a lot of exploring and I're not shame there or terror you know of rejection or of describing what identity means. And if we don't understand, if we haven't got a lived ex-understanding and experienced and until experience of who we are, then how are we going to separate the trauma that we feel, I'll tell you about me. I was, I call it at the top of the mountain. I loved my life, Simon. I lived well. I experienced life. I traveled. I did cool things. I can be kind of sarcastic too, but you know, the me was be different, that just because we learned something about how we got here today on this earth is that is counter

[00:20:20] to how we viewed ourselves. In your case, I don't even know who, maybe two, I might be stubborn, maybe three that just said, don't let it destroy you. Just don't let it destroy you. I might have been better off. Yeah. Should have would have could have, right? Yeah. So.

[00:21:42] What healing moments come to mind in terms of the most. going on while every two hours they were drawing my blood and running test and trying to figure out if I was going to, you know, have a neurological or a cardiac event. And it wasn't a drunken episode. So let me just put everybody to rest on that. It wasn't that type of a thing at all. In

[00:23:02] fact, it was far from it. But in the, in those six hours and walking out of an off the ship, adoptees as well that are healing. I believe you've had Danielle Gada on your podcast as well. Love her. Love her. I've had Michelle Madrid as a guest. I think you have as well love her love her. I hate when I use the stutter words. Emma Stevens, AKA Linda

[00:24:23] Pivak, who's come into, you know adopt a specific book. Definitely, but for sure, they really know their they really know their onions. Definitely. Yeah, I knew I love that. You know what I would say too about Emma's not, yeah, it's spirit, I believe it's spiritual rather than psychology. And she also talks, she also talks in that and whenever I get near this addiction stuff I back of this medical emergency on the on the cruise ship. I had to ask you just to lighten it up a minute. George Clooney wasn't in that ER was he? He was not in that can self-assess as well their worth. And one of the items during that time period that I used,

[00:31:00] which I found really valuable, was to ask myself,

[00:32:02] I mean, did you get this from Byron Katie? Did you come across it?

[00:32:04] Have you come across it?

[00:32:05] So Byron Katie, she's got a four step process

[00:32:09] that looks at challenging thoughts.

[00:32:12] And it's a, it's a, what's the word?

[00:32:20] Surprisingly, it sounds very pretty shallow,

[00:32:25] but it's as deep as you want it to go. What's that got to do with thoughts? So we're talking about us as the space in which the thoughts and feelings and trauma appears. We're separating who we are. Yeah, we're separating who we are from the trauma

[00:33:43] we are aware of when I was in a bad mood and that came out in my What I also take in that is how you show up for yourself and for others and then mapping that back to what you're indicating through our conversation here, the connection to who

[00:36:20] I am and the identity component of that. thinking about something I heard years ago from a guy called Zig Ziglar, which is about your attitude, determines your altitude. So we am I going to show up for myself? And being comfortable again with who I am, I don't want to be thinking that I'm not horrid. I'm human. And just be just putting me in that context of if this is the worst thing about me, if, for. Well, thank you. Well, there's a reason that the thriving adoptees low views are diamond. Diamonds and the rough.

[00:41:41] So you basically, to me, sounds like you're describing,

[00:41:46] you use the word ladder. there is a thread of my story that is around the memories from other humans, other people in my story that I am a product of sexual assault. That's hard to grapple with. I just want to have a bit of lightness in. About. About compliments there.

[00:44:24] So when you. So I said, great, great, great color to her. I loved that color. And she went, she looked at me like, you're not Simon. And so I said, well, I had a top bit similar color to that a few years ago. I loved it. I don't know why it's going to go to find it. Did it? She still looked like her. I'm not. And she was just.

[00:45:45] She was just unable to take the compliment.

[00:45:48] I would not. Great. why a pirate is called pirate. They just are terrible. It's fantastic because it's so terrible that it's fantastic. I heard one today which is

[00:48:25] I just thought it was a nice juxtaposition, yeah? It's not just one, that's very powerful as well. Yeah, absolutely. So what do you think am what keeps me stuck. And so I do know that about myself. Hold on a minute. Right. Sorry. We are not our thoughts.

[00:51:02] Yes, I know we can say that.

[00:51:05] It's not your thought process.

[00:52:02] We're not our thoughts, we're not getting in our own way. You know, like we use this word mindset.

[00:52:05] Well, what about mind fluid?

[00:52:08] Mind sets like concrete, you're in nowhere.

[00:52:12] What about mind fluid, mind open?

[00:52:15] Yeah, let me take a couple steps back into your challenging

[00:52:19] and I love the challenge.

[00:52:21] The first is-

[00:52:22] Oh, I'm relieved about that.

[00:52:23] So I thought I'd totally shut you down.

[00:52:25] No, not at all, not at all.

[00:52:27] I do like the challenge move forward, slower. My motion will be different. My outlook and attitude will be different. So I know that of myself. I can only speak for me. I do know that I can see it. I can see it in me. And but that doesn't define who I am.

[00:53:43] That's not what I'm saying.

[00:53:44] I do know that if I spend

[00:54:44] That's important to acknowledge. So when you made the joke about overthinking is what an understatement?

[00:54:51] Yeah, you know, there's something to be said for that behavior.

[00:54:56] It could be a behavior.

[00:54:58] We could categorize it as a behavior.

[00:55:00] There's something to be said for that.

[00:55:03] There's enough around why you do that.

[00:55:07] I don't want to take that out of context. Mm hmm. That gets me. You mean the resistance to overthinking? Yeah. Mm hmm. So I used to do this a lot. I used to worry about worrying a lot more than I do now.

[00:56:20] Oh, I see. to be me and become. Because everyone else is taking as you said. Because everyone else is taking. I just want to be me and like me. I want to like me. And I like me again. That's really important for how I feel about who I am and kind of my identity where we've and approaches. I hope someone leaves listening to this conversation going, you know, I could go read Danielle's book or Michelle's book or one of Emma's books. I could do a self assessment.

[00:59:01] I could use some of the wording that Simon laid down,

[00:59:06] mine fluid as an example.