Gabor Maté says that the feeling we are not good enough is actually a belief that we are not good enough. And that's important given so many of us feel less than. Do beliefs seem more bustable than trauma seems healable? Listen in as I explore belief busting, hope and more in this short episode.
Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.
[00:00:02] Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Thriving Adoptees podcast today. I'm delighted to be joined by me. It's just me you've got today. I haven't done one of these for a while and it's really... it was prompted by something I'd heard on a podcast this morning and it's
[00:00:21] the question is what if? The name of this podcast episode is What If? So Last week I shared or maybe the weekend we thought I shared an old post that came up in my memories from Facebook from a year ago and it read something like this
[00:00:45] We're not born believing That we're not good enough. We're not born believing That we're not good enough. It's a belief that we pick up somewhere along the way
[00:01:05] What if we could put it down and I got a mixed bag of responses to this right? Mixed bag of responses to this and some, so some people liked it and some people didn't like it and I guess they felt that I was
[00:01:31] perhaps they thought I was victim shaming in some way and they said well what if? I can't do that. I can't put that belief down because and as I read it I thought
[00:01:50] I remember doing that. I remember doing that. So I had a business coach and I think he called himself the possibility guy or something like that. He was the Mr. What If. He had the What If
[00:02:07] so I would meet him as a business mentor and he would say he would question a belief that I had and he would say
[00:02:17] what if you could and then I would go on to explain all the reasons why an idea that he'd come up with or that I'd come up with wouldn't work and it was What If. And what I was doing that I was arguing for the status quo
[00:02:42] I was arguing for the not the bound status quo. I was arguing for my beliefs as they stood right there in that moment and that argument was keeping me stuck. So for as long as I believed that I couldn't do something, I couldn't do something
[00:03:06] because I was stuck in that belief. I was super glued, super glued to that spot. There was no chance of breaking free from that and that's not a great place to be right. It's not a great place to be at all. We're stuck. We're stuck
[00:03:32] and what does What If give us? What if we remained open to possibilities? What if we remained open in particular to the possibility that the belief that we're not good enough could dissolve, could fade away, could be deconstructed, could evaporate into thin air
[00:04:07] Now that's not to say it might come back again, right? I'm not saying that it's once and done. It's once and gone I'm saying that it is it more likely to happen if we are optimistic about the belief going
[00:04:35] Well, maybe that's one for you to consider yourself, right? What if you could? So as a doctees this the central theme that runs our lives is this idea that we're less than
[00:05:00] and I had a moment last Monday on this. I was actually on one of the podcasts, I think I was got an email from a birth mother who I know has been on the podcast coming back on again
[00:05:15] and she's going to be doing like a mini host series, mini co-host. So I did one with Jude Hung She's Laura Angle. She's going to come on and do a co-host of a series of maybe three sessions interviewing people that she'd like to interview
[00:05:30] And I was thinking people see me, people hear me at my best People hear me at the best on my best one on the podcast and I think some of them think I'm a nice guy
[00:05:50] And when I, when that thought came to mind I just started crying because I thought, well do I see myself as a nice guy And I guess what, what if I could? What if I could? What if you could?
[00:06:10] X, X, X. You fill in that blanks. Would that make life better? What if it did? Take care. See you soon. Speak to you soon. Lots of love, son.